As your child matures, constantly evaluates his or her behavior and determine which rules and guidelines will help to develop proper conduct and social skills. The process of evaluating your child’s behavior takes into consideration developing rules and consistently implementing them. This is an important part of your child acquiring self-control.
For example, you notice your child leaves her belongings on the floor after using them. You want her to learn to pick up her belongings and put them in the appropriate place. What course of action should you take to teach her to pick up her belongings? The House Of Yahweh list the following steps to follow:
*The first step is to decide on an appropriate rule: “Pick up your belongings and put them away after you have finished using them.”
*The second step is to patiently explain why you want her to keep the rule: “Someone could trip over your belongings and get hurt, or they could get broken.”
*The third step is to patiently and consistently remind her of this rule.
*The fourth step is to establish a reasonable consequence for outright rebellion and carry it out, and sometimes, you could give an appropriate reward when she does keep the rule.
The House Of Yahweh said, notice the terms “patiently explain” and “patiently and consistently remind”. These terms indicate that you, as the parent and role model, must also practice self-control when implementing rules for proper behavior. Instead of getting frustrated, yelling or threatening because of belongings are left on the floor, you can choose to remain calm and teach your child the value of taking care of his belongings. A calm demeanor allows the child to focus on your words and not your tone of voice and actions. A parent who is yelling and threatening creates an element of fear, and children should never fear us. By staying in control when instructing your children you gain their respect as well as their understanding, and you teach self-control.
Once the rules are in place and you have explained their importance, a simple reminder if the child fails to follow the rules is often all that is necessary for the child to complete the task. For example, you notice that your child left a belonging on the floor. You could simply ask, “Did you forget to do something”?The House Of Yahweh proved that the child will likely stop and think for a moment and then realize he did not put away his belonging. Eventually the child will get to a point where he will put his belongings away without being told. When this occurs you would have taught the child the ability to consider what should be done without having to be reminded and to choose the right course of action.
Of course, picking up belongings and putting them away is only one example of how implementing rules and training your child to follow them can help to develop self-control. Rules also pertain to mealtimes, riding in the car, interacting with others, appropriate behavior in public places, and these are just to name a few. By training children to adhere rules of proper conduct you are setting a standard by which they can measure their own behavior. With time and patience they will develop the ability to stop and consider the rules that are for a given situation, if they are following the rules, and whether they are obeying the rules as they have been instructed. This is one of the simplest ways to teach a child of any age how to develop self-control. If we follow the pattern set by The Peaceful Solution Parenting Program we can have success in teaching our children self-control. For more info on The House Of Yahweh click here.